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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Good afternoon people, and guess another post from me on a Tuesday noon as the weather is starting to turn for the better. Didn't realise that my previous post was 5 days ago, I must have dozed off a while to not realise it was quite far back. Guess something did triggered me to write one today.

What I expected yesterday when I logged in late at night was an offline message from someone saying he never requested me to go for that job at the carnival which I mentioned in a few posts ago. Before I get to that, we've seen countless of times people getting pissed off over something you posts on the net and fierce arguments ensued. So I'm assuming that these kind of 'friendly' exchange of colourful words due to what they have posted on the net are rather normal, though I still hate doing it. Usually I do not intend to initiate it, but I do know and acknowledge my mistake if people would point it out to me.

So back to the issue here, he was saying that he never requested for me to go for the job. Me being my usual memory lapse can't seem to remember when I mentioned saying he requested, so I just replied 'fine, you did not request. you offered and I simply accepted'. Sure that was extremely rude on my part, but come on, can't I at LEAST show my displeasure of someone suddenly saying something so abrupt? I didn't even replied with any obscene words, though I was so unimaginably trying not to. Though a few sentences after that, I couldn't help saying a few, just for the records.

Ok let me get this straight, I'm not one to be extremely pissed off over something like this cause everyone has their reasons behind blowing off their steam over me. I can try to understand that, even if you say I don't understand. Its so gawd damn typical to say, you don't understand in these kind of arguments cause come on, everyone uses it. I'm not angry at him for saying all those things he said to me on the conversation, but I am not ashame to swallow my pride to ask what exactly happened. I'm pretty sure my reaction to his first few sentences was rather immature but I realised my mistake and I'm sorry.

I don't really care about winning ya know. What is so darn fulfilling anyway, winning over an argument? In the end, even when you know you've made your stand, you're left empty and hollow. And what was the point in that? Fighting with your friend just so you can say I was right? I don't understand these kind of sentiment at all, and people can say I'm a goody-two-shoe, but I don't try to fake it and say yes I am. I know what are my flaws and I try to let people know that is what I am, and I try to change it.

Crap, this whole post was too emotionally drawn. I did not mention names here cause I don't want him/her to feel I'm trying to embarass him/her. Though, the least I would like to ask is to exactly specify where I went wrong and I'd like to make amendments to it. Being a guy, crap I hate this foolish pride that drives Man to madness. To give in to others, is not a total defeat but to gain a victory on another front. I don't like forcing points to others, but when I do, I'm sorry.

Well, thats about it. Didn't meant to go so angsty with you guys but I don't like fighting with a friend. You can say I shouldn't be too nice, but that's just me.

arfandi used up his time at 2:55 PM

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