You're on my list

i have a list
of things i
like about
you

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Alright there is no real news today, but I guess the fact that there isn't is news itself. Yearp, The End.

Ok fine, life has been rather mundane these days, and being cashless for the very first time is rather unappealing. Ok wait, I have been cashless before. Though that was a very long time ago. Anyway, being cashless and being stuck in the room with no net (as of today, I'm totally using someone else's right now), it does makes you feel very, very vulnerable.

I was intending to draw, or play a game or two, read something or heck, write a story of some sort, but guess none of those came into reality. Ok the playing a game part was an exception, but it was just ONE game. Yearp, I really do sound like a sore loser with a very boring life plot. I mean, I don't really like being a hypocrite but reading someone else's blog who has quite a satisfying day to day life experience quite, envious. Guess I should do that too. Like having a day to day objective, a list of things to be achieved. Then maybe, at the end of the day, when I look back, I can tell myself "Hey, I achieved something. Let's see what's tomorrows" and start planning again.

Guess I should do that. Anyway, the furnitures just came in. Furnitures? What furnitures? Oh I didn't tell you guys right? I got myself a new wardrobe and a new bed (sofabed to be exact). The sofabed was a dream come true, since I've been dying to get one. What? You though it was weird of me to be overly excited about furnitures? Guess I am getting a tad old. I am gonna be 20 this year ANYWAY.

So yeah, snapshot.

Uh, the unfinished paintjob was totally my fault. I left it unpainted cause it was covered by the two wardrobes I used to have. So me being a lazy ass, left it unpainted, thinking it'll be concealed. Talk about tardiness huh? So the stupid me, is going to buy the exact same pain colour, if only its an easy shade of colour to find. Bah, tough luck for me.

arfandi used up his time at 5:53 PM

Friday, July 20, 2007

Yawn. Yes, I'm yawning. It's 10 am in the morning and I have no idea why I'm awake this early. Though getting back my biological clock back to 'normal' has its perks. No more waking up when the sun's almost down, and no more late night lonesome moments. Today's post don't really hold much meaning, except for the fact that my blog was updated close to a week. Wonder why I didn't had the same motivation to update this as I used to. Somehow, I'm soo tired these days. Guess I need to start working or doing something other than sitting down on my butt all day. Not that I didn't try. Ok well I didn't.

I think I need a job. Ok, I want a job. Hah.

Oh, the imeem player is playing the songs on full. Finally, I mean honestly speaking, its not like the song I uploaded ripped off some artist. They're self made songs.

Ok the primary school beside my house is having a band concert. Man do they sound horrible, but they're primary school kids after all. Kudos to them I guess. Bah, ok I sound extremely whiny right now and talking about things around me. Superliciously boring if I myself were to read this post.

Anyway, being jobless yields too much time that you certainly have no idea how to utilise. I had enough of playing games on the PS2, drawing or doodle on the net, read stories off fanfiction.net or simply watching anime at youtube.com

Argh, ok I'm bored. Man, been a while I last post something like this, with the most recent one being 2 years ago.

arfandi used up his time at 9:52 AM

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

"i'm so far down
i can't hear a sound
nothing to hide
won't be by your side"

Yearp, the second song out of the three songs that were recorded a couple of months ago has been finalised. It's called 'The Escape Route', though I wish they could have omitted the 'The'. Anyway, I've just uploaded it up on imeem, together with 'Tomorrow', which I forgot to tell you guys, has also been released. Anyway, I'll just let you guys enjoy the songs instead of me blabbering over here. Might as well let it load first, get yourself a cup of coffee and a biscuit while enjoying to the song. I would recommend hearing 'Tomorrow' first, then 'The Escape Route'.

While you guys are listening to the song, you might as well read this part. As stated in a post way back before, Ethel has entered into a state of indefinite hiatus. We're currently taking a break on song making as we come to terms with the whirlwind of change that is taking place in our lives. When things settles down, I might be sitting down and start continuing making songs.

Up this friday will be Ethel, minus Hafiz, but with two additional members, Rauff and Fadhli, taking on Rhythm guitar and Bass guitar role respectively, performing at Labrador Park for SMA day. Not really our first time performing there as we performed there before the previous year, when Mahathir and Hafiz were still part of the band. Despite the infamous 'stage fall', we're still going to take stage at 6 pm, around there, playing a couple of covers which are:

1)I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance

2)Blind by Lifehouse

3)What I've Done by Linkin Park

The last song is pending as it will be played if the crowd asks for an encore, no matter how arrogant that may sound. Hah. Either way, enjoy the two songs I've uploaded.

"Just take this lie
And we could dance the night away
It’s in your eyes
This flesh is only flesh"

arfandi used up his time at 2:10 AM

Saturday, July 07, 2007

"Have you ever felt that gnawing feeling in your heart, when you see someone that's dear to you walk away from you?"

Guess exploring what it means to love someone isn't really what I'm good at. I mean, I got told before that I suck as a boyfriend, just because I didn't know the way I should hold her hand, that I should be walking in her right side, that I should shut up when the need arises and what not. Guess I've never been humiliated like that in my life before, but what is humiliation anyway? Its just that gnawing feeling in yourself that keeps telling you everyone is sneering at you when they're not. Such a pompuous and arrogant emotion.

Somehow, I deserved it of some sort.

I mean, I was trying to intrude into another person's life with little or no regard to what the consequences is gonna be. That kind of bulldozing, and one track mind is the kind of a person I was. When I heard about something my friend said, it kind of make me feel extremely disappointed with myself in the past. "She doesn't care about anyone else, she just cares about her own happiness. As long as she gets it, other people life's are trampled just to acquire it". I felt totally horrible after hearing that, bulls eye.

I knew what kind of a jerk I was. Even a total idiot would know that. It is even more disappointing, when you know you're wrong but you just don't know what to do to redeem yourself. I knew I had to change, though at that point of time, getting a partner wasn't really an immediate priority, but either way, I needed to redeem myself. I wanted to give myself a second chance. That I could love someone for real, that I could actually love them for who they are, not for what they are. You get what I mean. At that period of time, between just graduating Secondary School and end of first year Poly, I tried to mend the friendship between most of the girls that I've dated. Why? I don't know, I just felt that I needed to. That I owe them at least an explanation, that the breakup wasn't for nothing. That each and every break up I went through, I changed. Changed for the better. I don't know how many times I got depressed for being told "Hey, if we break up, you can find some other girl you can hang out with"..

Not sure which period of time though, that I got to meet back again with 'her'. The first girl that I've loved. Well, currently loving blissfuly. It was kind of an awkward reconciliation, whichever you want to put it, cause when we met, I think we just exchanged number or something. I don't particularly remember, cause at that point of time, I thought its just gonna be a simple hey and see you again kinda thing. Once she went over to board the train at the middle platform at Jurong East, a friend of mine told me, that I was lucky to have a pretty girl like her before. That was the most simple and kind of weird trigger for me, cause alot of memories came rushing through me. Though, I didn't fall in love with her immediately at that point, though some people would actually do. I didn't want to put myself in that kind of familiar reverie whenever I got nostalgic and some sort. Yearp, nostalgic-ness, if ever that word exists, stung me quite effectively. Shrugging off the feeling was hard though.

Damn it, and I actually fell in love with her again, real hard. Fine, that was rather corny. If you were to tell me to describe how someone falls in love would definitely be, incredibly corny. I wonder why.

Chatting with her, I wonder, made me got to know alot about her. I used to disagree with her all the time, my ego getting the better of me. Everything she says doesn't bode well with me, I wonder why. Why was I so adamant on always being the right one? Not that I'm not push over or anything, but guess growing up makes you realise that there are certain things that you know has no meaning if you keep pushing on. Guess, there are some things not worth fighting for. Vice versa. Despite knowing that she loved someone else at that point of time, I wonder why I kept holding on. Holding on with such grit that I didn't know I possessed. I mean, she was loving someone else while I'm loving her, it reminded me too much of those typical drama on the tv.

Then came a point when she told me that she's having a bumpy journey with that person she loves. I was tempted to tell her how I felt for her but instead, I helped her to solve the issue, kinda, by hearing out her problems. I guess, I got used to being the person she talks to about the person she loves. I couldn't make her worried by being sad about it though. Loving someone is wishing happiness for that someone right? That's exactly what I was doing. Ok, you people at the back must have thought I had no guts right? Wrong. I didn't want to take advantage of her when she's at her lowest point in life. That's, just wrong.

Somehow along the way, I got to tell her my feelings. The whole atmosphere was so similar to waiting for my 'O' level results. Seriously. Honest, I'm not joking with you. As anti-climax as it can be, she likes me too. Yearp, -the end-. Ok fine, just joshing with you. Though I wonder, shouldn't this part be more incredible and more exciting, stringed with fireworks in the air and stuff? Though at that moment, I just felt it was, perfect. Though a relationship doesn't just stop where two people confesses their love, that's just too story life. Life goes on right after that. We didn't immediately date or watch movies or that kind of sort. I wonder, guess it was as normal as it can be, but just with convictions in our hearts that we're getting somewhere.

Buying a rose, a white one that is, for someone was something new for me. Seriously, finding one was extremely hard. Fine, it wasn't but for a dunce like me, it was particularly hard. Why the rose all of a sudden? It was her graduation night on that day. Though seeing that she received quite a couple of gifts from others, when I looked at my rose, it felt kind of small. Really small. Though, I got to see a woman running with her heels. That was something new. I wonder why, she was extremely anxious, hasty in her steps, yet I had a constant smile on my face. Seeing her in a dress, in heels, her hair done, even if she tries to deny it but that night, she's beautiful.

"And yet, when that someone comes back into your life, don't miss this chance. Or you'll regret it."

arfandi used up his time at 5:15 PM

Sunday, July 01, 2007

"More than meets the eye? What, a, stupid thing to say"

Well, what's with the phrase? It's something of a major movie called 'Transformers'. If I'm allowed to squeal like a girl right now, I would totally do so. Alright, alright, I knew that this movie was gonna be extremely fun to watch, cause most of the people my age grew up waking up every Saturday morning watching this. Some even aspire to get their toys as a kid by doing really well for their final year, so that they'd be rewarded with such a toy by their parents. I for one, well, it was too expensive for my family's financial standing at that time. The bottomline is, Transformers has placed such a lasting impression to kids my age. Ok fine, young people. Ok Ok, young adults. Fine?

What is it about this movie that blows the sock off my feet? Ok that was kind of corny. Well, the fact that some people said the female main character, who I got to know is called Megan Fox, is hot (as said by Rauff), the whole cast was extremely great. Who would have thought that guy who played Steven in 'Even Steven' be such a natural. Ok besides that hacker guy, who I felt played a very redundant character, the cast played their characters really well. Though the part where the Secretary of Defense and that Sector 7 dude, who all started very calm and controlled, to prance around like idiot when that Decepticon tried to breach the room, was rather funny.

Ok besides that, what about the story huh? The whole movie, was action-packed, right from the start till the end. Well, excep the part they need to explain and bla bla, plus that humorous house scene where the Autobots were trying to hide 'discreetly'. Despite the fact that the Autobots are totally on a disadvantage since the Decepticon's are all frigging war machines such as Jets, Tanks and Helicopters, Optimus Prime, to me, was frigging awesome. Man, I sound like a frigging kid. Though you'll squeal too like me if you watch it. Alright Pong, I admit, that you reaction to the movie was rather great, but I didn't know the movie was beyond words. Though, I felt the movie could have been longer but like everyone says, somethings shorter but compact makes a much nicer movie than a long but droning ones.

Sadiq kind of told me a couple of months back that this movie is coming out. Certainly a great movie to watch if you're spending the first week of out of June holiday. I mean, if it can make me want to watch it again, proves that it's definitely one of my favourite movies of all time.

arfandi used up his time at 9:29 PM

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