You're on my list

i have a list
of things i
like about
you

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I've never meant much to most people. Maybe, it's because I've never really talk much with them, or bother giving much effort in trying to keep in contact with them. Lived life, knowing that I have myself to take care of first before I try taking care of other's. Staunch supporter of keeping the close ones tight with me, I guess friends come and go, those that I've bumped into in life. The ones that affects me alot, and the ones that just brushes pass me enough to make a change in my life.

Every encounter, yields a different future.
That's how significant one person is.

I'm guilty of not catching up with people around me. Seriously I do. I'm guilty of even trying to forget them, as hard as possible before. For example, back when I graduated from my primary school, I made it a personal mission to forget everyone. Start a new chapter in my life, on a fresh page. Literally.

Yet, as time goes by, the past starts seeping in and reminded me that I can never truly forget them. I wonder why I felt that forgetting them was a proper thing to do. Somehow, it's been the reason why I don't even remember any bit of what I went through back then. Still, I somehow regretted it.

Every encounter, is a new beginning.
And sometimes, the end of another.

I wish at times, that I would be remembered. Not for someone who is just 'that guy' but 'hey, isn't that arfandi?'. Though, I shouldn't be expecting that when I don't do that either. Still, it'll be nice, if someone would think of you in that manner. That you hold enough meaning for them to remember you, even as distance separates us. As time takes grip on our life and zips past to the future, we'd still be able to remember each other.

I don't want to be hated for the things I've done. And yet, I'm remorseful. At times, I question, why'd I did all those things before. Why'd I didn't consider they're feelings more seriously? Then maybe, people would learn to consider mine.

Pitiful ain't it?

And I live on with this burden. Pathetically, desperately finding solace in the arms of my friends, but in that security, I might be abandoned. Just like how I abandoned them in the past. Retribution is painful.. I know.

Is there salvation, or will things ever change?
And in your friends you trust, in your friends as well, is betrayal.

Betrayal painful enough to kill you.

arfandi used up his time at 6:14 PM

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