You're on my list

i have a list
of things i
like about
you

Thursday, December 25, 2008

You know what, I'm tired of being down and about. I should start living my life. Be who I am, indulge in the artistical notion in me and be intoxicated by the passion.

And yes, I'm self-psychoing myself. To be happy. Which is good. Right?

Been doing some sketches on my 'Book of Sketches', which is suppose to encapsulate my ability to draw Still-Life, which I absolutely abhor back in Secondary School. Took up Pong's advice on this since no artist should go around without a basic foundation of basic anatomy and proportion. And so, walla, I've decided to at least have a sketch book of such.

Though, this will at least help me when I need to get my butt into the course that I want to after I'm done with my service to the nation as the dog of the Army.

Was able to do just 3 sketches as of now though. The 3rd sketch is the one of the Japanese general on top.

Hopefully I can get more done when I'm not usually dead (NOT!) on my bed after being mauled to near-death.

So yeah, let me immerse myself in art and be very arty farty that I annoy the crud out of you ordinary people. Cheerios!

arfandi used up his time at 1:25 PM

Monday, December 08, 2008

Guess there's no chapters this week. I left the draft back at camp, will be posting it up next week instead.

A little insight about the story, to some it seemed alot familiar with what is going on in my life. The whole story is rather fictitious, based loosely on what I went through. Don't want to spoil on the story just yet, but I haven't exactly planned where the story is leading to. Depending on my non-existent talent for a novel, it does affect how this story is going to end.

Other than writing that story, I've been heavily investing my time drawing as of late. Getting the hang of doing rough sketches again, the ones I used to do back in Secondary School. Somehow, I can't deny that I'm way better than how I was back then. Phew, at least I got myself somewhere. Took me long enough.

Life's being a chore these days, let's not talk about what's going on in camp. Alot of thing's going on in there that is not good for the mind. I shan't elaborate. Life outside camp is still the same though. Still trying to get over the fact of some things in life that still lingers in my mind.

I don't whine much, I don't usually whine, unless if it's to people that I trust. It's hard to find people for you to trust these days. Seriously.

Forget it.

I won't ever talk to you again. Never. Goodbye.

arfandi used up his time at 5:48 PM

Monday, December 01, 2008

Chapter 2

Flashback

‘You got comfortable with another girl?’ asked Rosette, disbelieved. No preparations could have made her prepared for such a revelation, more so hearing it from the person she trusted the most. ‘Who? Is it someone that I know of?’ she continued, not exactly wanting to know, and yet she needs to know. How contradicting is that?

‘It’s someone that you don’t know — her name’s Selene,’ hesitation in his words, Alfie needed to tell her this, before someone else does. Whether this is the right thing to do right now for his part, he will never know. Maybe, it was a mistake in the first place to have gotten acquainted with Selene, and now he’s in too deep with her. ‘I’m sorry you have to hear this but I don’t want to lie to you anymore. I have no excuse, I — listened to my fickle heart.’

With tears in her eyes, threatening to spill over, Rosette fights hard not to cry in front of him. She promised herself not to cry for things such as this, knowing very well that such a day will come. She was ready for it, and yet, why does it hurt this much? ‘I’m allowed to be at least angry, or sad right now, right?’ mused Rosette. ‘I’m allowed to — right?’

‘I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.’

‘So where do we go from here? Are you expecting me to forgive you?’ said Rosette, looking at him in the eyes, searching for an answer for this whole mess. How this episode ends depends heavily on how he is going to answers this question. ‘Is it even possible for things to go back to the way it was before?’

‘I guess, that there is nothing that I can do, to make you forgive me. I made a mistake, a huge one and I know that it has hurt you beyond what I could ever imagine. I hope you will forgive me — Rosette. For what I’ve done.’ remorse in his voice, expecting a miracle out of this. Any girl would have left him for his despicable act, this act of treason. Yet, Alfie couldn’t let this end this way, without doing anything. If it ends, at least in his heart, he knew that he tried. At least, Rosette hears what he has to say.

‘My mind tells me not to forgive you Alfie but my dumb heart tells me otherwise. I can’t help myself from forgiving you, since I’m in love with you Alfie, no matter how stupid your actions were. But my trust for you, I have none left,’ wiping her tears away, smearing her mascara while doing so, ‘I have none left.’

Alfie couldn’t offer his hand nor his smile. He — is the cause of this. With a forlorn look on his face, Alfie could only look at her. After all those promises he made, to protect her and keep her away from harm and yet, he is what harmed her the most. Emotionally, with his selfish actions. Clasping his hands together, Alfie couldn’t help but feel disappointed in himself. Why did he lose the battle with his emotions? Why did he held Selene in his arms, perchance this outcome? He knew fully well, that his relationship with Rosette isn’t normal. He thought that this time, he’ll be ready for Rosette. That, he will be able to be together with her, with all the restrictions and limitations. Was he wrong? Maybe, he was just too overconfident, too proud to realise that the whole relationship is way beyond his capabilities.

‘That question, about where do we go from here. I — seriously have no idea.’ answered Alfie. ‘I really, have no idea where do we go from here.’

With only silence accompanying them, two people once intertwined, it’s bond unwinding, slowly but definitely. The uncertainty that shrouds them, stayed with them persistently till the end. Once a story, but now, just two separate chapters.

End of flashback

arfandi used up his time at 5:35 PM

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