You're on my list

i have a list
of things i
like about
you

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I am glad my linguistic skills ain't that bad. Seriously, I've read some things in my life that I have totally no idea what it means even if it was meant to be a sentence. I don't think it's wise of me to start naming a few since it's really ridiculous even include it in this entry. Pfht, utterly ridiculous.

Alright, with that out of the way, I've realised that some people have a knack of constructing nice flowing sentences out of thin air and it makes me wonder, what really goes through their minds anywhere to be able to attempt such a thing. Well, maybe not even close to attempting it when they're more towards perfecting it. They make it seem like a pro at it and keeps the amateurs at bay. Sheesh. While some could just spew out words with a snap of a finger, and some struggling with just when to place a strategically placed full stop to a sentence. I for one, have conceded to the fact that I'm not meant to write.

Well, I never started to be good in anything at all in the first place. Everything seems so hard earned despite the flukes I've had with all my recent achievements. For examples, eventhough it wasn't that recent, my 'O' levels and PSLE. That's just the only two things in my life that I got off without a hitch. Weird. I didn't even try very hard overcoming those two periods of my life actually. I was never good in Art, nor was I ever great in English. Never great in Maths nor fantastic in Science. Still, miraculously I did pretty well in all the subjects accept English and Art but guess what, I'm into writing and drawing. It's weird really. Why didn't I stick to the things I'm good at anyway. I tried really hard thinking I might just make it in Science and I've been disappointed.

So what exactly leaves me with? I wasn't great in Art nor English and yet I've taken an interest for them. Thoguh, truth be told, I actually loved Art then. It was just going through the process of doing it that depresses me. Long hours of facing corners would really depletes your soul, after a few months of doing so. And having to draw creepy spiders everytime I've got the time, and my utter lack of proportions back then frustrates me to end as I wasn't creating what I had in my mind. Being around friends who are exceptionally great in Art didn't really help, when you're just trying to get a grasp of what is Art. Always having to hear 'That's easy, just do this and that, and wallaa, end product' or 'Add a stroke here, erase a part of that, make the shape bigger, and there we go' does make you feel like an idiot 80% of the time.

And an idiot I am, considering I'm in love with Art despite not looking like I am. Maybe I'm too rigid or maybe I'm not cut out to look like I like doing it but I like doing Art. I like the idea of creating something out of nothing. Love the fact that I can make something pretty with my cumbersome hands, with my huge and shaky fingers. That looking at it when it's done makes you feel all happy inside that only I'm able to feel. To be able to tell myself, I did something right. It's such a feel-good experience that I'm having so much difficulty trying to convey it to other people since it's hard putting it into words. If I could have my wish granted, I just wish that people would look at my works and not having to think of me when you see it. It's so unfair, cause I'm such a lousy example. Cause I don't look like it and my drawings gets the poor reception. Or it's cause I'm lazy. Yeah, maybe the latter.

Maybe the latter.

arfandi used up his time at 5:43 AM

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

i've just realised that, more words doesn't mean more value.

i'm fine with the way my life is, simple and clean.

arfandi used up his time at 4:40 AM

Friday, August 07, 2009

In the car I just can't wait,
to pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

Let's go, don't wait, this night's almost over
Honest, let's make this night last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever

- First Date, Blink 182

Happy 3rd monthsary darling! And wishing a fun and loving relationship ahead of us. <3

Labels: monthsary

arfandi used up his time at 4:26 AM

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